pray for me

hello all,

as usual, as you guys are shocked seeing me all of a sudden in this abandon blog, same goes with me. so sorry for not being here for such a very long period . naahhhh, i bet no one is waiting for me here but i think, apologizing is the best way as my starting word for this very first entry for this season . 

honestly, i used to love blogging . i used to share anything i like which i think it is suitable to be shared here in the public . and my style of blogging was changing due times . from immature and childish thing, to try-to-be-mature-thing by sharing my cookings (euw), to doodling (sumpah kejap je ni sbb leceh), to prelove-selling (xuntung pon =_=") and blah3 . but something that i would rather to share since centuries ago but i kept avoiding to write it in here is, about my life . not just life life . its about something that is realy happening in my life . okay okay, its about my problemo to be exact .

yes .

some people made this blogging as their medium to express and share their probs and get feedbacks from their readers . it is a good thing and i respect to those who have the courage and not asshamed with their probs . however, it is not good forever as they hade been too depending on this type of medium which sometimes would bring another unexpectable new probs . for an instance, i bet you guys know abby abadi right?

pity her . seriously, i am very pity for what had happened in her journey of life . from what i have known, after she and her zul ariffin got into a huge fights, she who had been in a massive stress had wrote in her blog that their relationship was over . but somehow, her zul ariffin denied it which he claimed that the relationship was so complicated and he didnt gave any break up words . and in the end, their relationship got worsen .

you see, the main point is, im not trying to be in favor of any party . but, what i am trying to say is, when something had been arroused in our life for such a very long time which would bring us into a massive stress, anything could happened with the incapability of our brain to fuction correctly . dont you understand how serious and danger of stress is?

again, my main point among all these main points is,

i have been in a stress condition for about a year .

honestly, not to be proud of but im not a girl who could easily let my own probs take control of my mind, body or either soul . no no no . since 20 years ago, people kept asking me :

" weh kau ni kan, aku jeles lah asek gelak dan happy je . kau xpernah ada masalah eh? "

and i was like :

" haha ! yeke? mana ada . biaselah semua org ada masalah, cume ak jenis malas pikir . biaq p la "

but when im involved in this particular prob since about a year ago,

i cant be me .

im turning into a pathetic woman .

who got her pride disgusted and stepped onto repeatedly .

although i do know that i have to end it for the sake of my own life ,

but , im being stupid and idiot .

i think, when the time comes ,

i can be me again

and have the courage to get up and put my pride up

and it is your turn to be at the bottom .

at that golden time, i will be needing you no more .

at that golden time, i hope that i am pathetic no more .

PLEASE PRAY FOR ME GUYS .

PRAY THAT I CAN BE STRONGER THAN EVER .

THANKS !

XOXO